you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
