I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
