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I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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