Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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