Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
