i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize