im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
