Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
