when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
