No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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