You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sacagawea was the original milf.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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