all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
