...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
