i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just pee around me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
