She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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