I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
