thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
