I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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