The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
