i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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