You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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