Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
