GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I love you.
Bad choice
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
