don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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