Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
