fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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