is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
