last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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