Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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