apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
