this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
