I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
