he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My vagina just clenched in fear
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
