i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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