some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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