doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
