Your face is a jimmy john
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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