I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
