She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
