Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
