His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
