if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
