Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
