I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
