There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
