bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
