I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
