I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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