Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
