you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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